To Die or Not to Die
by IrishEyesAreSmiling
Summary: Harry has a decision. Die to kill Voldemort, or live and risk everything. If he chooses death, how will his friends react to his choice? Just a short fic.


**_Here's something short that I wrote when I was bored in English class. It is something that may or may not need to actually happen in the series, but hey, we're all fanficers. We just have an overactive imagination! Kill Harry…yeah! Sorry, I have this strange thing where I enjoy putting the main character or my favorite character in positions like this. Just read my other stories. LOL._**

Harry was threatened with a difficult decision. Everybody sat around the kitchen table staring apprehensively at him and the man in the next seat. They were afraid of what his answer would be.

"Harry," Lupin said slowly and gently, as if he would break down at any moment. "I know it is hard for you, and even for us, but if you agree, Voldemort will cease to exist. He will no longer terrorize the world. When he took your blood he became mortal, or tied to you. All that you have to do is sacrifice yourself for this hope. Of course, if you disagree, he has a higher chance of destroying you and everyone he comes across. I understand your decision either way."

The room was silent. Harry could swear he could hear a pin drop in the disturbance. Mrs. Weasley was trying desperately to hold in her sobs and Hermione sat beside her swallowing her tears painfully. He saw Ron bearing an expression of implorance. He wanted Harry to disagree, he knew. Ginny wasn't even looking at him, but focused on a knot in the wooden table.

Harry glanced at Hermione. Their eyes locked briefly before a faint nod came from her. He had to do what he had to do. From her he traveled to Mrs. Weasley, but dropped his eyes quickly from the table because he couldn't bear her tears.

"I," he began in a trembling voice. Harry was scared. He always had the fear of how or when he was going to die, but now that he knew, it was so much more frightening.

Harry raised his head and looked directly at Lupin. "I agree."

At that precise moment Mrs. Weasley let out a wailing howl and ran from the room in tears. Harry shut his eyes painfully. They were going to be hurt, but other people's lives depended on him. He didn't want to see his friend's reactions, but he heard their sniffling and hushed whispers.

"Very well, Harry," Lupin replied with an air of grief. "We will do it tonight. It will be painless, just a potion. Understand?"

Harry nodded solemnly.

Remus placed a firm hand on his shoulders and squeezed it. "You made the right decision, Harry."

After clearing his throat the man left the kitchen in a hurry, leaving Harry alone with the people he couldn't stand to be near at the time. He did not want to look at them now. How could he explain to them that there was no other way? How could he comfort them and say they can live without him?

Chairs suddenly dragged across the wood floor, and two persons left the room. He sensed it was Ron and Ginny. Harry still focused on his hands in his lap. He wanted Hermione to leave so he could be alone. Perhaps he would be permitted to die alone.

Harry quickly decided to sit with Buckbeak upstairs, so he stood up and walked to the door. To his dismay, Hermione caught up and blocked his path. He felt her hand grip his arm as he lowered his head.

"Harry," she whispered. "Look at me."

It took several seconds for his eyes to obey. Didn't she see that he couldn't bear it? Tears fell down her face without shame.

"I know that you made the right decision. You know it too." Hermione's face turned a darker shade of red as her face twisted into grief. "I just wish there was another way. One where you don't have to die!"

Harry placed his hand on her lips, and then cupped it around her cheeks. "Don't wish for impossible things, Hermione. I am prepared to do it. This is the only way. I just can't leave all of you. Everyone makes me happy to be alive, even more strongly when I almost did die. Thank you."

Hermione buried her face into his shoulder and wept. Harry wished she wouldn't. It hurt so badly. It was too terrible to bear.

"I don't want you to die, Harry! You're my best friend!"

"Please. Please don't make it harder for me I know this is right."

He heard her apologize, but she seemed to cry even harder. Now she profused short gasps and cries like a wounded animal about to die. Harry broke away from her and continued down the hallway alone. He needed Sirius so badly, but when he would finally die that night, he would at last see him and his parents. Death did not seem so bad.

When he passed a room upstairs he heard soft weeping through the cracked door. He opened it and saw Mrs. Weasley lying on her bed with her face in the pillow. Harry walked in quietly and shut the door. Standing there for a moment, he wondered if people had actually cared about him this much. Was he even worth all this? He caused so much more pain to them, and here they were weeping for him.

Harry walked forward and crawled onto the bed next to her. She sniffled and looked up to see who was there. Her eyes became even redder and tears leaked out rapidly. When she grabbed him into an embrace he whispered in her ear, "please don't weep for me, Mrs. Weasley."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Molly kept babbling and mumbling indistinct words in her grief. Harry held her gently and placed his chin on her head. Her quivering made him more sad than ever. Wetness was falling down his face without even realizing it, and dropped into the woman's rosy hair.

The hours passed and Harry still lay with Mrs. Weasley, who was fitfully napping. Smoothing her face, he saw the sun begin to set through the windows, and his heart tightened in fear as the minutes went by.

When the clock struck nine, Lupin came into the room. "It's time now, Harry."

Mrs. Weasley panicked and gripped Harry's arm. "Can he do it here?"

Remus agreed and departed to collect the others in Grimmuald Place. As Harry saw them all enter like a funeral procession, Lupin returned with a smoking goblet. He forced himself to say goodbye. He hugged Ginny and Hermione tightly, but could not look Ron in the eye until Ron himself enveloped him into an embrace.

"Miss you, mate." He whispered in strain.

Harry nodded and wiped his eyes.

"Here Harry," Lupin said. "Take the potion."

Harry grabbed it and stared at the contents for a moment. It was a strange emotion he was enduring. That feeling of knowing that you were going to die at that moment. Life would no longer exist for him. They would live on, and he hoped that they didn't mourn too much. In fact, it would have been best if they just forgot him altogether. Ignoring the people around him, Harry set the goblet on his lips and took in a deep breath. He drained it carefully until it was completely. To his surprise, the potion was smooth and tasteful.

Remus took the goblet from his hands and Harry could immediately feel himself getting weaker. When he died, Voldemort would too, and that was all he wanted. He collapsed exhaustingly onto the bed and Mrs. Weasely began softly smoothing his bangs.

"You have two minutes."

Harry nodded and stared tiredly at the open door. Everyone was silent. Ron was trembling and slowly turning red in an attempt to repress his grief. Harry saw the fear in his friend's eyes and wanted to take it away. Ginny, too, was pink with blotchy eyes and a swollen face. He wanted to hold her hand and tell her it was going to be all right. Hermione and Mrs. Weasley held both of his hands in a tight squeeze. He could feel their emotions trembling in his skin. A minute went by and he could barely open his eyes.

"You're going to be fine now, Harry." Molly whispered in his ear.

"I'm so tired." He replied weakly.

Everyone began shaking harder at the sound of his frail voice. Hermione and Ginny felt as if they were going to break in half.

"Shhh…I know. Sleep now, Harry. Just sleep and everything will be fine."

His eyes fluttered open and closed, but soon he had no more strength to continue. With one more shallow breath Harry uttered, "I'm sorry."

The grip in their hands lessened, and all they held were limp fingers.

"No! Harry!" Hermione screamed as she gripped it harder. Mrs. Weasley placed her face on his chest and wept uncontrollably. Ron and Ginny couldn't handle it. They ran out of the room and slammed the doors of their rooms.

The next morning, Remus returned to the room where Harry died and woke Molly. "I need to take him now."

"All right," she whispered. "I suppose he is going to be buried next to his parents?"

Lupin nodded. "Voldemort is dead as well. Just got the letter from Dumbledore. He didn't want to see Harry last night."

Remus performed a charm on his body so that it would not be stiff. He gently picked him up and fought off the hurt tearing at him as his head fell against his chest. His body was so terribly cold and sallow.

Downstairs, the others quickly turned away from him and their dead friend. Lupin placed Harry on the table, and then got out the kettle from the cupboard. "Portus."

"Where are you taking him?" asked Hermione.

"Hogwarts. Dumbledore worked everything out. Seeing Harry like this is going to pain him, but he understands that."

They disappeared in a flash, and meeting them was Albus Dumbledore, who let his eyes release tears at the sight of Harry dead in Lupin's arms.

THE END


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